Category Archives: Funniez

Guest Posts

I’m sure you haven’t escaped to notice that I’m going on vacation on Friday – if you have you must have missed my subtle hints of VACATION! on Twitter! (I can be really subtle. Really. I promise.)

I’m away for a full week. Can you imagine? A full week! I’ve not had a proper vacation in about four years, so you can understand that I’m really looking forward to this. That, and I’m terrified that I’ll be bored after a few days of sitting down and relaxing. Me and relaxing.. we have a bad history. But I will learn. Even if it kills me. Or well.. relaxes me, I guess.

I leave this Friday (3 June) after work and won’t return until the following Friday. Most likely red as a lobster – but hey, it’ll be worth it!

So, Guest Posts… I’d still love to get some more. If you have a spare moment to write something up, I’m more than happy to post it. I’ll even provide the topic!

Why everyone should be a Warlock!

or

Why I would choose a Warlock and the kind of Warlock I would be.

or

Why I would never play a Warlock.

That last one is obviously for those people who simply aren’t evil enough to play a Warlock. (There’s something wrong with you!) It’s for those people who just don’t enjoy feeding dismembered gnomes to their demons (though I can’t understand why!).

If those topics don’t work – there’s always pine cones.

And yes, okay – I guess I can take a topic that doesn’t involve why someone would or wouldn’t want to be a Warlock either. If I have to.

The Warlock Side Wants You.

Note: In case it’s not obvious – this is not a serious post. Taking it as such is done at your own risk and I will not be liable for any Warlock related damages. That said, I still would love your guest posts on any topic you would like!

 

Posted in Funniez, Random Ramblings | 9 Comments

Male/Female Warlock Pets

Blizzard recently confirmed that they’re working on giving us male/female versions of the Warlock pets.

I’m happy to share we actually do have plans for offering players a choice between male and female versions of all warlock demons. This is a task already in our system, though I don’t have a time frame for you at the moment. Other art tasks could always take precedence, but we’re committed to making this happen.

I don’t really have much of an opinion on it, but I have to admit that a male Incubus (female version of Succubus) would be a lot of fun. Especially to get to use Seduction on all of the homophobes that piped up on the forums about it. (Seriously, I had no idea there were that many!)

It’s quite amazing to see the response of some of the community. Some people even said that they would throw up all over their keyboard if they were seduces by a male demon. Seriously? It’s a game, and you don’t see any women running around screaming because they get seduced by the Succubus.

Anyway, I decided to make my own suggestion to Blizzard about what the new male/female forms for demons should be. If I was better at Photoshop it’d look better, but sadly this is the best I can do. Originals are included for reference. (Click for larger picture.)

Original Demons

 

New Demon Forms

I would like to petition Blizzard to use Vin Diesel as the model for the Incubus – and his voice. It would be awesome, don’t you think? Vin Diesel is a geek deep inside, and has even admitted to playing WoW. I bet he’d be up for it!

What are your ideas for the male/female demons?

Posted in Funniez, Random Ramblings, Warlock | 33 Comments

Leveling Problems

Try leveling like this!!!

Sorry about the bad quality photos, they’re taken with my mobile (the only thing I had at hand).

Happy leveling, everyone!

Posted in Funniez | 16 Comments

Five Points on What Makes a Raid Leader Great (Warlock Version)

My inner warlock couldn’t help but make her own list of what makes a good raid leader (after Alas asked for a post about it).

A great Raid Leader should:

  1. Tell the Mage to give the Warlock Focus Magic. They don’t want to? Make them!
  2. Allow the Warlock to Soul Stone herself (cause she’s the most important person in the raid).
  3. Make sure that the Warlock is summoned to the raid; not the other way around!
  4. Let the Warlock have the best position on boss fights so she doesn’t have to move, moving messes up her rotation and she doesn’t like this!
  5. Offer every piece of cloth loot and caster weapon to the Warlock first, if she declines the other casters may roll/bid.

These are the things that make a great Raid Leader!

If you could choose the perfect raid leader for your class, what would that Raid Leader do?

PS. Today is moving day (yay for scheduled posts!) – wish me luck and that there’s no snow storm like there was earlier in the week!
Posted in Funniez, Warlock | 8 Comments

A Guide to Warlock Raiding (4.0.1)

With the expansion coming to an end soon I don’t really expect that anyone needs a guide on how to raid as a warlock. However, I’m feeling particularly silly today and therefore will write this guide. I wouldn’t expect anyone to take it seriously though, as it’s definitely not meant to be taken that way.

So here goes, my guide to warlock raiding.

As a warlock, there are several things that you have to think about during raids – as well as important utilities that you can use during bossfights to make the fight easier for yourself (and possibly your fellow raiders, but that’s a minor detail).

Soul Shatter. In the latest patch soul shatter was buffed from a 3 minute cooldown to remove 50% threat to a 2 minute cooldown with a 90% threat drop. This means that we can ride really high on threat, and then soul shatter and start right over again.

Personally I like to compete with a mage and then soul shatter just as the boss turns to me so that he will immediately turn to the mage that was just below me on threat and one-shot them. It brings me joy.

Doomguard & Infernal. Another change in the patch is that our Doomguard and Infernal are considered guardians and share a 10 minute cooldown to summon. They no longer require a reagent either, which is even better. Infernals are better for AE fights and Doomguard is better for single target.

Another good change is that your regular demon won’t run off in spite when you summon your big, new pet – but he’ll stick around with a jealous look on his face. The look on your imp’s face will only be rivaled by that of the mage in the raid, whose ugly water elemental can’t live up to the glory of your doomguard or infernal.

Searing Pain. Now, this is the spell that make our threat shine brighter than the tanks. Like, totally. If we’d just be allowed to wear plate I swear we could tank every boss better than every other tank. Really. I mean it.

Demons. Yes, I know – they’re awesome. Our minions of death and destruction. However, while you may favour one depending on what you favour in your spec there are times when you may want to consider bringing another one out. If not for the benefit of the raid, then to show how shiny and awesome we are with our utility.

Need some CC? Bring succubus and have her seduce them! Need an extra silence? Felhunter is your friend. You need to tank something? Bring out the voildwalker and put up soul link (oh and don’t forget that awesome searing pain spam for your awesome threat!). Not to mention that my personal go-to demon of choice – the imp  (his name is Laznik btw) – now is able to dispel magic as well as increase my health. Go demons!

Soul Portal. Putting down a portal in a strategic place as the fight is about to begin is always a good idea. There are a lot of fights out there where it can save you from a swift death, or quickly getting out of the nasty. Or to get quickly back after getting out of the nasty once it’s safe. A good example of this being a life saver is the Lich King fight where you can port back to safety after the Valkyr drops you off the edge.

My personal favourite however is putting my portal next to a mage and then porting to him so that whatever nasty is chasing me will get them as well. This is especially fun if the mage is a gnome.

I hope that these points will give you some ideas of your own on how to use your warlock abilities in the best way possible. If it brings pain to a mage – it’s always a plus in my book!

Posted in Funniez, Warlock | 4 Comments

Someone *really* wants a Kodo

It’s always fun to see the GMs being funny in their replies to queries in game.

Kodo Transfer?

Posted in Funniez | 8 Comments

Monday Movie

Mondays are always bad days, I’m like Garfield – I hate Mondays. You’ve just finished the weekend and you really don’t want to be back at work/school just yet – and you know this is just the first day of your week.

To cheer myself (and hopefully some others) up here’s another pick of my favourite YouTube WoW Movies. The song and video makes me feel like Disney just bought the rights to WoW – but since I was a big Disney fan when I was a kid… teenager.. okay I might still watch one once in a while, I really enjoy it.

Posted in Funniez | 2 Comments

Monday Movie

While having nothing else to do this weekend I was browsing YouTube and found some really good WoW videos. One of my favourites was this one by Cranius and Legs. I’ve seen Cranius before – he’s also the man who brought us the awesome Big Blue Dress song and video. It made me want to roll a mage back in the day!

This one is called Wrought, and even if you don’t enjoy the song itself – you should watch the movie because the story is really good.

Posted in Funniez | 5 Comments

The Reason I Hate Gnomes

For those who have read my blog some time you may have picked up on my hatred for gnomes. I think they are tiny and evil and should be erased from the world of Azeroth. (Yes, okay so I have a gnome mage alt – but that’s beside the point!)

The reason for this stems back to my days as a Horde. I was new and innocent and convinced (by my brother) that a PvP server was the only place to play. Having spent some time leveling in The Barrens I was now level 16/18 and I received a quest to visit the Lumber Camp in Ashenvale. Okay, I thought, it’s a bit of a walk but I can do that.

I went on my way, traveling through Barrens until I reached the edges where the Horde were guarding a gate. There were guards. Why were there guards? I looked at them a little uncomfortably as I stepped through and took my first few steps into Ashenvale.

Oh, this place looks really nice, I thought, enjoying the green forests in comparison to the Barrens… well barren look. I hadn’t taken more then ten steps in though when I see a Gnome coming riding on the road on his mechanical chicken. The moment he comes up to me he dismounts and one-shots me. Then jumps back up onto his chicken and continues on his merry way.

I’m lying on the road in a pile of bones (being Undead and all) wondering what the hell happened. Then of course I realise the whole neutral/contested territory thing and PvP flags and whatnot. And beat myself up for not having run through the bushes in an attempt to hide.

I think the next five times or so I was killed it was also by a Gnome. But that first time is engraved in my memory for eternity. I think it’s just the way he casually dismounted and one-shotted me only to continue on his travels as if nothing happened. As if he hadn’t just beaten me to a pulp and left me to rot on the road.

Now, PvP isn’t something I do a lot – and when I do it it’s in Battlegrounds or possibly Arena. World PvP has never interested me much, mainly because it always seems entirely unfair. I’ve never been jumped when I’ve stood a chance. They’re either 10+ levels above me, or I’m fighting 5 mobs or I just finished fighting 5 mobs and sat down to drink. Maybe I’m someone who is too nice, but it doesn’t strike me as much of an achievement to kill someone under those odds.

This has of course come back to bite me in the ass many a times. For example, I was recently in Wintergrasp while the battle wasn’t on to do one of the farming quests. A boomkin from the opposite faction was there too and I decided not to touch him since he was so obviously lesser geared. About 5 minutes later he’s fetched a DK friend and they’re both killing me. Thanks dude. Thanks for repaying the favour. (I found him again after that and killed him of course. Vengeance must be had!)

But I digress. This is about my hatred for Gnomes. As you can tell before my digression it all stems back to that first killing. After that it’s just stayed with me that Gnomes are Evil and Gnomes should Die. It doesn’t matter that I’m Alliance now, Gnomes are still EVIL.

Ode to Gnomes


A conversation I had with my gnome-loving GM (as alliance):

Me: I think we should sell the gnomes as a utility tool to the horde. I’m sure we could make a good profit.
GM: That sounds good, I’m in on that.
Me: Then we can wage war on all of them and kill all the gnomes AND the horde!
GM: No, I think we should sell them the gnomes, then the gnomes can work from the inside and help us destroy the horde.
Me: And when that’s done, we ban the gnomes and they can create their own faction? We wage war on them and kill them all?
GM: …no…
Me: *pouts* *whines* But when do I get to kill the gnomes?
GM: You don’t.

I’ve never forgiven him for that. I want to kill gnomes.

Do you have any specific memories of an in-game event that may seem trivial to others but that you can remember clear as day?
Posted in Funniez | 19 Comments

Raid Chat

Yes, it’s another little screenshot of raid chat. We’ve recently (since about 1 week back) started doing joint raids with another guild that has problems getting members and last night they brought some new people. I was raid leading (something I do fine – but I generally prefer not to – maybe I imagine things but some people act a bit weirdly when you lead a raid so I prefer to know people before I start directing them about) and of course the moment I speak on vent this pops up in raid chat.

A girl?

The moment the ” a girl?” appeared I do what I sometimes do and say somewhat jokingly that no.. I’m just a very very very young boy. The warlock I’ve raided with before but the paladin and DK were both new to the group.

It somehow amused me how the DK went from the surprised “a girl?” to “oh it’s not that rare to me” :P

The final comment from the paladin I couldn’t quite figure out if he was jokingly sarcastic (like the whole girls don’t play wow) or if he meant it. I decided not to ask and get on with the raid.

Anyone else get instant reaction when you reveal yourself to be a girl? Even more so if you’re in a leading position? Or if you’re a guy – do you react do you think if your raid leader turns out to be a girl or do you take it in stride as if it was just any other player?

Posted in Funniez, Random Ramblings | 19 Comments