For those who have read my blog some time you may have picked up on my hatred for gnomes. I think they are tiny and evil and should be erased from the world of Azeroth. (Yes, okay so I have a gnome mage alt – but that’s beside the point!)
The reason for this stems back to my days as a Horde. I was new and innocent and convinced (by my brother) that a PvP server was the only place to play. Having spent some time leveling in The Barrens I was now level 16/18 and I received a quest to visit the Lumber Camp in Ashenvale. Okay, I thought, it’s a bit of a walk but I can do that.
I went on my way, traveling through Barrens until I reached the edges where the Horde were guarding a gate. There were guards. Why were there guards? I looked at them a little uncomfortably as I stepped through and took my first few steps into Ashenvale.
Oh, this place looks really nice, I thought, enjoying the green forests in comparison to the Barrens… well barren look. I hadn’t taken more then ten steps in though when I see a Gnome coming riding on the road on his mechanical chicken. The moment he comes up to me he dismounts and one-shots me. Then jumps back up onto his chicken and continues on his merry way.
I’m lying on the road in a pile of bones (being Undead and all) wondering what the hell happened. Then of course I realise the whole neutral/contested territory thing and PvP flags and whatnot. And beat myself up for not having run through the bushes in an attempt to hide.
I think the next five times or so I was killed it was also by a Gnome. But that first time is engraved in my memory for eternity. I think it’s just the way he casually dismounted and one-shotted me only to continue on his travels as if nothing happened. As if he hadn’t just beaten me to a pulp and left me to rot on the road.
Now, PvP isn’t something I do a lot – and when I do it it’s in Battlegrounds or possibly Arena. World PvP has never interested me much, mainly because it always seems entirely unfair. I’ve never been jumped when I’ve stood a chance. They’re either 10+ levels above me, or I’m fighting 5 mobs or I just finished fighting 5 mobs and sat down to drink. Maybe I’m someone who is too nice, but it doesn’t strike me as much of an achievement to kill someone under those odds.
This has of course come back to bite me in the ass many a times. For example, I was recently in Wintergrasp while the battle wasn’t on to do one of the farming quests. A boomkin from the opposite faction was there too and I decided not to touch him since he was so obviously lesser geared. About 5 minutes later he’s fetched a DK friend and they’re both killing me. Thanks dude. Thanks for repaying the favour. (I found him again after that and killed him of course. Vengeance must be had!)
But I digress. This is about my hatred for Gnomes. As you can tell before my digression it all stems back to that first killing. After that it’s just stayed with me that Gnomes are Evil and Gnomes should Die. It doesn’t matter that I’m Alliance now, Gnomes are still EVIL.
Ode to Gnomes
A conversation I had with my gnome-loving GM (as alliance):
Me: I think we should sell the gnomes as a utility tool to the horde. I’m sure we could make a good profit.
GM: That sounds good, I’m in on that.
Me: Then we can wage war on all of them and kill all the gnomes AND the horde!
GM: No, I think we should sell them the gnomes, then the gnomes can work from the inside and help us destroy the horde.
Me: And when that’s done, we ban the gnomes and they can create their own faction? We wage war on them and kill them all?
Me: *pouts* *whines* But when do I get to kill the gnomes?
GM: You don’t.
I’ve never forgiven him for that. I want to kill gnomes.
Do you have any specific memories of an in-game event that may seem trivial to others but that you can remember clear as day?