Warning: Rambling post is rambling.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around things, so please excuse me if this post is rather rambling. Also, I’m sorry if I step on anyone’s toes in my guild (should you come across this post), but I really just need to put my thoughts into words to try and make sense of what’s going on.
My guild, as I’ve alluded to before in comments and posts, is a smallish guild intent on 10 man raiding. We have a core of a few members (all officers by now) who have been with the guild since early TBC days, as well as a few members who joined us during Wrath. By now we also have some social members who joined in Cataclysm since with the guild changes we’re quite happy to have a social player base as well as our raiders.
I’ve talked earlier about what I want our guild to be like, and we’re approaching that mentality now in Cataclysm, for which I am happy. However, we’re also having some issues that I’m not quite sure how we can solve. I will try to bring these issues to light, in an effort to understand them better myself.
Part 1: “Us” and “Them”
One of my personal grudges right now is the mentality amongst some of the officers that there’s “us” and there’s “them”. To me – it’s one guild and we’re all together in this. I think everyone should be equally valued. Sure, a social member won’t get a spot over an actual raiding member, but that is not the same thing as saying that they are less valued members of the guild!
A few of the members have been with us for more than a year, and sure – they may not always make 100% of the raid days, but then that’s not always possible.
The thing that really got me about the “them” and “us” mentality was that we actually ended up changing our raid days. We only raid 3 nights a week and obviously with such few days we want people to commit to if not 100% attendance, at least as close to it as they can.
We’d settled on raiding Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, but then it turns out one of our officers (and admittedly a very good player and dps) can’t easily make those days, and at the very least will be 30 minutes late. So, okay – we start looking into changing the raid days around a little. There’s no issue with this, except – we only ask the officers when they can make it. No one asks the members if the days work for them, even with me prompting and asking if we shouldn’t.
So, guess what happens? We change the raid days to Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday and the first raid is scheduled for Sunday. I think you can see where this is going. Since no one bothered asking the members if those days would work for them, it turns out that 3 of them actually can’t make it on Sundays (they’d pretty much settled for us raiding Tue-Thu and made plans around that). Monday turns out to be another really bad day for a lot of people (me included).
Do you know what takes the prize? Some of the Officers immediately starting to rant about people not showing commitment to the guild and raiding and showing up whenever they please. Except of course we scheduled the days according to when the Officers were able to raid (me not included cause I’m gone twice a month on Mondays for night class) and no one asked the members. Can we really blame them when it turns out that they can’t necessarily make those days?
Part 2: Old Grudges
Then of course there’s the issue of some people not being able to let go of their grudges. Now, I’m not saying we should let people in the guild do whatever they want and still get raid invites. This was something we were bad at in Wrath, but I’ve worked out some policies that states clearly what will happen if you can’t make enough raids, so this expansion this shouldn’t be an issue.
In Wrath we had a couple of people join us who ended up unable to raid as much as they initially said. One of them told us this up front when his ability to join raids changes, while the other just didn’t bother at all. Now, the person who did tell us is back and his schedule is more sorted and he could make 3 nights a week (but not Sundays and Mondays, so this may end up a non-issue if we don’t change our raid days).
However, some people are holding grudges for him not raiding with us in Wrath. Since he was a healer and we were short on healers him not showing basically meant no raid. So yes, that did put us in a tight spot at the time, but I like to think people can be given another chance. Especially since with the new rules no one would be able to string us along and have us count on them, since if you can’t make enough raids you just won’t be a raiding member, but a social member.
So there’s lots of discussions back and forth about whether or not he should be allowed to raid at all, which is silly cause we have no one to replace him (recruitment is fairly slow, we’ve always had bad luck with getting new members). For me, I have no problem letting him raid – and if it turns out he (again) can’t make the raids then he just won’t be a raiding member anymore.
Part 3: Wherein we go to a pre-school level
Now for the final piece in my ranting. During the big officer discussions when the first raid failed (not surprisingly), one officer said something to another officer that was worded badly, and received even worse.
There was a bit of a falling out between the two, and the original comment being taken out of proportion and misinterpreted. Sure, it was a badly written comment and it came across a lot worse and more personal than it was intended. But explanations towards this weren’t exactly listened to either. I don’t want to blame either person in this case, I think they both blew up and the whole comment was made a lot worse than it had been intended.
Now, the officer whom the comment was made to have declined every raid currently in the calendar. Great. I think apologies have been made, but either he’s not seen them yet or he doesn’t care.
And people say women are the drama queens?
Don’t get me wrong, I’d be upset if someone said the same thing to me, but I’d like to think I’d listen to an apology and understand that it wasn’t meant towards me personally.
Part 4: Where am I going with this?
I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this. I’m trying to put it all down in black on white before me to see if I can figure out what to do about it, and quite honestly I’m drawing a blank.
Emotions are high and resentments are possibly even higher right now. People are blaming each other for the guild’s failures, and there’s a lot of complaining. Sadly, very few people seem to do anything to improve things. This is what annoys me I think. I can in most regards see what people are complaining about; but it frustrates me that all they do is complain. I haven’t heard any suggestions about what can be done to fix it, all I hear is “this is bad and that is bad and I don’t want to raid with X and Y + Z aren’t here for this raid and can’t be counted on either!”
I guess in a way what I’d like from my fellow officers is a bit of leeway. Give things/people a chance. Count everyone as equals. Don’t start jumping down each other’s throats. Just… take it easy and let’s give this a try.
I think some people are still upset/resentful after Wrath raiding didn’t go the way they wanted to (me and some other guildies ended up having to kill Arthas with a few random PUG members because some people just decided to call it quits until the expansion was over).
Part 5: Final Thoughts
I don’t think there’s a solution per se. I think people need to mellow down and let go of old grudges. Get new one if you want once people deserve them, but let’s start fresh and see where we can go with this.
Communicate! Let’s talk to the people that are our supposed raiding members and decide on a raiding schedule that work for as many people as possible, not just officers!
Let people back in/give them a chance. If they let us down, so be it. We were the bigger persons and gave them a chance, and we can demote them to social rank if it doesn’t work out.
In the end, I’m just tired of the negative attitude and I want people to get along. I feel like I’m in the middle of the “Us” (officers) and “Them” (guild members) since I like both groups, and I want them all to matter equally.
I’m sorry if this post makes no sense, I know it’s a lot of rambling.