I’ve played WoW now for over eight years, and I’ve never un-subbed. There may have been a day or two on occasion if my payment method ran out before I remembered to refill, but that’s it. No breaks for eight years. And I’m starting to feel it.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the game, I still think it’s a good one. But right now, I don’t feel like playing it. I log on, look around, and log out again. Twice a week I still show up for the guild’s raids, but I’m not enjoying them. The opposite may even be true. I sometimes feel disappointed when the raid isn’t cancelled due to low sign-ups. Which I realise is very selfish of me, since other people in the guild still want to raid.
Which is why I’m still there, I think. Being one of our two main tanks, it’s not an easy job to just quit. I’d feel too much like I was letting everyone down. At the same time I’m finding no joy in raiding.
We’re at a point where I don’t quite feel like we have a reason to raid in the first place. Being a casual guild we have no real plans of doing heroic modes other than the few easier ones (of which we’ve done a couple so far). On normal mode everyone pretty much has every piece of gear they need. We disenchant almost everything that drops. Some of our guild members want to do heroic modes, but to be absolutely honest… I have no interest in them. There was a time when I probably was, but my love for raiding is completely gone for the time being.
So, why are we still raiding?
I guess some are still chasing the dream of heroic modes. One or two might still need an illusive piece of gear. And some might be doing it just for the sake of doing something together. Some time ago, I may have agreed with some of these reasons, but I just can’t find the will in me anymore. I feel miserable the entire duration of every raid, and I feel guilty about feeling so miserable. I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s fun.
There’s talk about having a raid summer break, and I’m considering not coming back after. If nothing else, it’d give the guild time to find another tank during those weeks of no raids.
I wonder if not raiding will bring my joy for the game back. Or if I just need a longer break from all of it, maybe until the expansion hits. I have no idea. How do you know if you should stop or continue? I’ve been feeling like this for a very long time, but I’ve battled through it. Kept showing up for raids, kept doing my best during them. All the while wishing I was somewhere else, doing anything else.
How do you know?