… Or lack thereof. Sometimes I wonder what I want to do with myself, and I always seem to come up short of an answer. Well, that’s not entirely true. I know that I want to have a family at some point in my life, and I want to be a published author and hopefully be able to live off my writing. However, the odds of that aren’t that great, so I need a back-up plan, and that’s where I’m coming up short.
I’m currently working at a company where I’m not very comfortable, and I don’t know how much longer I can do it. I just don’t know what to do if I’m not working there. I’m kind of tired of living in The Netherlands. I love my friends and my apartment, but it just kind of feels like it’s time to do something different. (Been here for more than 5 years now.)
I have a very good friend – one of my best – in Florida, and I’d love to go there for some time. Living so far away naturally means we don’t meet so often, so it’d be great to live there for a while. Also, it’d give me something else to do for a while. Something I feel I need.
But getting to go to America isn’t easy. Greencards, work permits and all that.
I just don’t know. And I hate not knowing. Maybe I should go back to school, but not really sure what I’d like to study. I guess I do know what I’d like to do, it’s just not possible. I’d like to move to Florida for a while and work there, but for aforementioned reasons, that’s not possible.
I’m rambling. I’m good at that. There should be an award for the most rambling achieved in the shortest amount of time…
To summarise: I wish I knew what to do.
Move back to Sweden? Move to Florida (if it was possible)? Stay where I am?
A possibility, though not the best one, would be to move all my stuff back to Sweden and then go on an extended trip to Florida (I’m allowed 90 days). But then I wouldn’t know what to do when I came back after those 90 days. So it’d just be postponing the inevitable.
Ok, will stop rambling now. I need to write a synopsis for the Golden Heart contest (I’m very good at procrastinating if you haven’t realised).